If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It's shark week go big or go home
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
