So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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