i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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