she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
