Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
