But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
