you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
