Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
