you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize
