are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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