whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
