I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
birth control should be required to get into college
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
