I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
