What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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