Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
kristin has been a bad kristin
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
