What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
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