on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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