I love black thongs
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
