My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
