my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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