Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just pee around me
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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