I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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