guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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