At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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