Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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