"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
