Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
