I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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