Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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