I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
