wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
