You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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