I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
