I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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