we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Randomize
