This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
