And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I love you. Go after that dick
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
