Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
