real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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