for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
did you just send me my own nude
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize