We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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