You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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