I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
