Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
