I should be sponsored by Trojan
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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