never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
