This is not my ceiling
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
