are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
