It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
