im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
do herpes really smell.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
