HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
