but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
