drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
